Bdsm is completely normal ; you can easily start by being silent too. And then, speak to her very nicely. She'll "listen" to you in her own mystical way. Then if she considers your request worthy of it, she'll send her army of old greek writers. They fight problems using philosophical weapons. They could be a threat for your people. Most of you therefore tend to go aggressive. Is there no other way out? Take the police as an example. Policemen make good use of passive force.